This Day in American History

On August 3rd, 1997, Microsoft buys $150 million worth of shares of financially troubled Apple Computer, thus saving the company and helping it take off into the computer superpower it is today.

The popular commercials featuring John Hodgeman as a PC and Justin Long as a mac were a bit different then.

"Hi, I'm a Mac."
"And I'm a PC"
"PC, I need to ask you a favor."
"What is it, Mac?"
"Well, since our elitist company model didn't quite coincide with the needs of every day computer users, our company has hit some serious finical troubles. Can you buy some of our stock?"
"Well, I guess I can, Mac, but I can't buy too much because the FTC will come down hard on me. But, if I only buy 150 million, and we'll set it up so that you're the 'cool people' computer company and sell over-priced, dumbed-down models to artistic blow hards and general wine-sipping assholes, we'll say that we're competing with each other!"
"Great! The transmission in my Jetta went out. This is really gonna help my Ikea addiction as well."

Why We Care About Miners

... Actually, I can't answer that question. If you spend a lifetime digging a hole in the ground and crawling into it, you're gonna get trapped every once in a while. Does an exterminator complain if he gets some weird chemical-induced cancer? No. It's all part of the job.

And way to go CNN! This is the picture that they posted on their website when this story broke. Wow... I feel like I'm there!!

Bridge Collapse Hits Home

We here at The American Culture are not immune to the tragedies that effect Americans. The creator of this blog, Daniel Chavez, was almost killed in the bridge collapse that happened yesterday in Minnesota.

"I had to stop and get gas" Daniel said in an interview earlier today. " If I would have spent $25 instead of $35, and trekked 2769 miles to Minnesota from Los Angeles for some reason, I would have been killed!"

God shines his beacon on humankind only in times of great peril, and Daniel was able to bask in some of that light.

Headline Of The Week

"Athlete's Foot: The New Airport Terrorist Threat?"

- Live Science.com

I'm not even going to bother to read it.

R Kelly: Singer? Or Statutory Ape?

It's finally going down, R Kelly's trial for having sex with a minor is gonna happen.

LET'S GET READY TO GRUMBLE!!

Whoopi Joins The View

"Whoopi Goldberg was introduced as the show's latest co-host Wednesday, joining Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the panel of ABC's hit daytime show."

We here at The American Culture are taking a pool right now. For $5 you can choose one of these options.

- Whoopi gets in fist fight with Hasselbeck and loses a dreadlock within one month.
- Whoopi realizes how stupid women really are when they are asked their opinion. Will quit in disgust in 3 months.
- Whoopi will grow annoyed at Joy's monotone humor and finally say "SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID GAY-ASS HUSBAND". Leaves within a year.
- Whoopi, using her night vision senses, finally captures and kills Arnold Schwarzenegger in the jungles of Central America. Despite his application of mud to prevent such an instrument for seeing him. She's out within 2 years.

Another Politician Taking Public Funds For Private Use

Wow, and I thought it didn't make sense that the Alaskan Wildlife fund needed 22 billion for the "Save The Brown Beaver" project, or 17 billion for the "Need More Bitches Here" initiative. Hmmm.