And we're not talking about Iraq...Kevin DuBrow, lead singer of the band Quiet Riot, died on November 25, 2007. Promoting a tactile version of synesthesia with the hit song "Cum On Feel The Noize" back in 1983, Kevin was found dead in his Las Vegas home. Pending an autopsy, police speculate that he did, in fact, have his "cock out".
Casey Calvert, guitarist for emo-punk-goth-screamo-folk-gospel band Hawthorne Heights, died on November 24, 2007. Not really knowing who Hawthorne Heights were, MTV reverted to interviewing a more-popular friend of Casey's, Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz. "Uh, yeah, that sucks man. I was flat-ironing my hair when I heard and I remember when me and him were like, doing stuff and I was like 'dude, who are you again?' I didn't wanna sound like a dick but... yeah. Did you see me modeling for Dolce? I was hot".
Dr. James Robert Cade died today at the all too tragic age of 80. Dr. Cade was the inventor of Gatorade, and the sports world is turned upside down. "This is worse than the death of Vin Scully", stated newly contracted slugger Alex Rodriguez. "Wait, he's still alive? Eww".
And yet, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan... Still alive. Yes, this is proof that there is no god.
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